It's Not About the Hole: Bagel News

Every person who has ever thought about the word DIET knows that a bagel and a smear are not particularly non-fattening, especially if the smear is more like a few tablespoons of Philly cream cheese.

Over the years, I've seen several smart souls cut out the middle, bready, part of their bagels in order to cut out some of the bulk and cut down on the calories. I have other friends who insist on reduced calorie cream cheese, for an extra edge.

Imagine my surprise when last week's trip to the supermarket revealed a new product called Bagel Thins by none other than Thomas', the same people we rely on for English muffins. And therein lies the rub-- although a line extension can be a brilliant idea, Thomas's is not the firm you'd expect to make a yummy bagel, let alone a yummy 110 calorie bagel.

Indeed, the extra skinny bagel comes in two parts, one of which is even thinner than the other. They taste somewhat like cardboard and aren't made that much better with a healthy (or non-healthy as the case may be) dollop of cream cheese.

There are assorted flavors available; I tested the 'everything' bagel; six in a bag, $4.49. There are coupons online for discounts.

Card Me

I discovered this product in the heart of the California Wine Country...it combines the ingenuity of a doorknob hanger (such as DO NOT DISTURB) with a gift card for a wine bottle and therefore fits over the neck of the bottle.

Bottlenecks, a registered trade name, come with or without pre-printed messages. The one I bought says ' congratulations!' on the front and opens to the slogan 'may this bottle of wine add to your celebration'. You can choose from a variety of pre-printed messages or buy a blank tag to write your own.

www.bottleneckwinecards.com

If you have the time, energy and skills, you can probably make your own version of such a tag. This would work on the small scale for a few bottles, but in the long run, you'll go insane for the intricate cutting and clipping and will be happy to buy these cards by the dozen.

Skewed

Not to date myself too terribly, but I remember when skewed was a verb only used in advertising and media trades referring to content and its age target for viewers. A skewer, had only to do with barbeque.

About two years ago, I discovered and wrote about some flavored wooden barbeque skewers that I found in stores and online. (Seasoned Skewers; www.mysecretpantry.com)

This summer, I have found the FireWire -- which costs a whopping $12.99 but is made of stainless steel and should last forever. ..or until you attempt to barbeque krypton. The product (www.firewiregrilling.com) is brilliant because it takes simple technology to the 'why-didn't-I'think-of-that?' position-- the wire is that...a long wire, much like a circular knitting needle, the kind used for sweaters.

Each end of this wire has a four inch stainless steel pointed poker skewer. Bascially, you thread your cubed foods onto the knitting needle and wrap it in circles on top of the grill -- you maximize the space and the heat from the grill and you clean the item, thus saving the world from disposables. This looks like what David Yurman would have designed if he was into barbequeing.

You can, of course, marinate foods before you grill 'em. You string the wire, then soak in marinade, then transfer to the grill. Dishwasher safe. Stainless steel doe snot react with marinade or raw foods. The packages set includes two skewers.

Shopping Detective Runs Wild

I'm not sure if it's because my leg injury has me in bed and looking for work on the computer, or because I am researching crazy Japanese inventions for our Born to Shop Asia trip -- whatever the reason, I've suddenly realized that I have been stock-piling a small arsenal of great (read: weird) products, many of which are perfect for summer.

I will do each as a separate listing so I can input the fotos-- even though the format of this blog will reverse this explanatory paragraph to the end of the parade.

If you don't know I'm 'laid-up' due to a boo-boo, I will explain what happened and lead into how I could have prevented the problem with a new product. I am healing a broken metatarsal, pinched nerve and strained muscle all upset when i took a tumble on hardwood floors. I was wearing felt slippers, moved from carpet to floor and went kabam.

The most interesting thing about the fall is that one of my two doggies ran into the bed and hid under the covers; the other sat down alongside me and sat guard while I was down. So much for dog sociology. None of this would have happened if I had been wearing Slipper Genie, microfiber cleaning slippers.

I found a pair of these slippers in my local grocery store in the cleaning supplies department. (Could I make this up?) They cost $5.99, are labeled in three languages (English, French & Spanish) and come in one size, a range for women's size 6-9. I wont even go into the chauvinism of the fact that the product is specifically marked for women's feet.

The idea of the product is simple, while you're running around the house, you might as well be cleaning the floors with these hot green, wormy, microfiber treads on the soles of the slippers. It's silly...but brilliant. Oh yes, in the small print on the back it says 'exercise care'... maybe I couldnt have prevented my fall after all.

sales@evriholder.com; 800/975-0335

Back on Track

Well guys, this is a somewhat erratic (but not erotic) blog as we got back from Asia, we had a birthday party for Tom Lahey in Tiburon, I came back to San Antonio and dove into my office to push on the conclusion of Born to Shop Hong Kong...which was the whole reason we went on that trip anyway.

The book is almost done, I will do my taxes (yeah, I know I'm late, I have that October 15 extension daate) and continue to pack as it seems I am returning to the West Coast. Texas has been great and I love, love,love my house here-- but there seem to be more job ops in the Bay Area and I need to get a real job with a real paycheck, whatever that is.

I will be continuing the blog as we travel and The Shopping Detective as I find new merchandise. In fact, the day before I left for Asia in early August, we made a Born to Shop pilot that features several shopping detective segments. I think they're pretty cute-- well, the merch is fun, anyway. And my dog looks great. Some are pasted on my facebook page. I am waiting for CBS to call to make me the next Andy Rooney.

Sarah and I did come up with a fun idea, if you'd like to join us. We are going to Saigon in early November to do the research for an upcoming Born to Shop & Spa tour-- there's a new InterContinental Hotel opening and assorted things and places we want under control before the March tour. We've decided to open the Scouting Trip to the public-- you dont get the same benefits as on a BTS tour, but it costs less and could be very funny. See www.suzygershman.com for details. We grabbed a Viet Nam cheapie airfare from United-- r/t from SFO to HCMC (Saigon) was about $600. The hotel will just be opening with low everday prices.

Once I get settled into the Bay Area in early October, I will begin work on our newest concierge edition-- Born to Shop & Sip: Napa and Sonoma. This will be a small, specialized book filled with insider's isnformation on shopping, wine and chefs. Amazon should have it posted by late Spring 2010.

The Shopping Detective Gets Nailed

This story begins in Provence in June. It is a true story, bien sur. I specialize in true stories.

So one fine day, I was routing around for something or another in the closet in my house in Provence and before you could translate your brain's reaction, an old fashioned, cast iron Singer Sewing Machine leapt off the top shelf, hit the floor and bounched onto my foot. Thankfully the force of the blow was muted in the bounce, or I might not be alive today. I limped away with a hysterical shriek.

Three weeks later, the toenail on my big toe on my left foot fell off. I was lucky my toes were not severed off and did understand that a new toenail would grow in within a few months. Furthermore, I saw the savings in being able to miss a few pedicures. Hey, times are hard, pedicures cost $28 where Ilive and that's without the tip.

Now I am off to Asia and unable to take sandals, which isn't the end of the world, but requires some changes to wardrobe. I thought about asking at Lady Nail May I Help You? if they could do a prosthetic toenail and pedicure, i thought about simply painting over the skin, I thought about world peace. I didn't feel that I needed to act on any of these issues.

This gets us to yesterday, a Saturday afternoon spent in my local WalMart where I needed to touch all the beauty products one last time before leaving the country for three week. And believe it or not, what I found there was a large business-- many brands, quite a selection-- in fake toenails!

Not only natural style toenails, but a variety of novelty nails, many in French formats be it a pink and white or the one I bought, with a hot pink band of color across the top. I bought the Diva, but noticed that Kiss also has their own line. I paid $5.79 for a kit with an orange stick, a tube of nail glue and a handful (excuse the expression) of toenails.

The directions say there are a variety of sizes, so you can make a match for a proper fit and that the glue job will last about a week if you bathe regularly. God only knows what the chlorine in the swimming pool will do. Probably curl my toes.

Nonetheless, I easily applied only the big toe on my partial big toenail and then gave myself a little pedicure with a bright berry pink Orly Razzle nail varnish. (Less $ than OPI; bought at Sally's, $4.99)

Because of the glue, I cannot carry-on the repair kit when I travel and will have to pack it. I just hope that when i take off my shoes at secruity, we don't have a toenail malfunction.

The Truth About GiGi: The Shopping Detective

PARENTAL WARNING: The content of this blog is somewhat raunchy and is probably not suitable for children under the age of 13.

It seems like I have pink bubble gum in my crotch. Seems is the operative word here, because it is not really bubble gum, it just looks and feels like it. Today, with a silent sigh of 'Thank heavens for little girls' I applied a product called GiGi Creme Wax. The confessions are going to be, uh, sticky.

I do not have a lover. During my many years of living in France, a few times a year I plunked down 15 euros, and received what is called 'la piste' -- a bikini wax that left behind a landing strip. In Brazil they take it all off; in France, they leave you a little tuft or two. And the price is modest because this is a normal service. I am a high maintenance woman. I like a simple look, no matter what in takes to achieve it.

In the U.S., I have been paying $35 for the wax and then $5 tip for a similar wax-on-wax-off. So now, as I head to Asia in August, where I promise to wear a bathing suit and swim laps every day, I decided it was time to try this myself...and save money. If the U.S. government is giving cash for clunkers, I figured the times were ripe to some work on the chassis.

I went to Sally's, I spent a half hour studying the products and, with tips from other women ringing in my brain, I bought products that most resembled the ones I was used to in France and here in Texas. There was a kit of microwave wax and assorted other sample sized products that screamed 'try me'. For $18, I calculated the savings and dove in-- which does not, I repeat not, make me a muff diver.

This morning was the day, so I used a magnifying glass to read the little brochure, I examined all the little products and thought them odd-- concealer for your crotch? Excuse me? I zapped the Bazooka pink goop in my microwave and then I slathered it on. The first rip was not painful enough nor fruitful enough. I zapped the wax to a creamier consistency, more like yoghurt.

I attempted three different depilatory actions on three diverse portions of a very small area. I was more interested in the top than the sides, and I was terrified of serious consequences if there were any dripping or smudging on the sides, so I stayed in the valley of the V in my upper thighs.

Since I do not care to be too graphic, nor have I looked up the word hematoma in my medical dictionary, I will spare you a description of the immediate results and the dime sized purple splatters of veins or skin or bruisemarks.

There was some wax removal creme in the kit; I applied it. Not much improvement. I took a shower and ruined two brand new, expensive kind of razors -- totally clogged 'em with bubble gum. I got out of the shower, didn't dare dry off as I feared towel fuzz would add to the density of the remaining forest, and went directly for nail polish remover.

Unfortunately, I do not have acetone as is easily acquired in Europe and would surely have solved the problem. Nail polish remover just managed to ruin my manicure (another $20 down the tubes... so the speak)and get some of the bubble gum smeared around more evenly. An attack with a petite pair of scissors did not help enormously.

Then I had to choose a pair of knickers that I could abandon or cut away from me if needed and a pair of teflon lined jeans. We won't even discuss the still-burning sensation of have from the acetone that got away.

I happened to be watching The View last week, when one of the hosts, Sherry, went for a wax and was shocked to find she had been booked for a Brazilian. "I'm a grown woman" she kept screaming, "and I look like a little girl now."

God knows I remember how I longed to have pubic hair; how proud I was when it finally burst onto the scene. Now I spend a lot of time and money trying to get rid of it or tame it. I know that some women actually have laser removal, but I know that is dumb. I had a total Brazilian once and all I can say is there are places that Botox cannot go and middle aged women do not want to be bald, if they can help it.

So here it is, Sunday afternoon. I know another journalist in San Antonio, she goes by the name Heloise, although the original Heloise was her mother. I'm wondering if I can call her and see if she has any helpful hints for this problem.

The Shopping Detective: Smartitag

One day, many years ago, I was on a prowl through Century 21 in Lower Manhattan, and in some odd spot between housewares and luggage, I found a tree of luggage tags-- large, glossy, circles (I'd say 3-4 inches in diameter) in assorted colors, organized by letters of the alphabet. They cost $4.98 each, so I bought a few. Not enough. I made an S of myself, but I should have gone further.

Ever since then, I have been looking for the world's best luggage tag, something that will not only i.d. my bags if lost, but will help me find my valises as they spin around on a carousel. Red string or ribbon is way over-done, trust me.

Last week in Wal-Mart, I found something that will accomplish one of those goals and possibly both. I bought a chrome yellow, laminated piece of paper called a Smartitag Luggage and Key Locator. The card is not much larger than a bookmark, yet on its tail are three dog-tag sized medallions and above that, two smaller tags-- those are the ones for your key chains.

Each tag has its own pin-code. Once you have purchased the card of five units, you go online (www.smartitag.com) and register your pin-code...the pin-code is printed on the back of each tag, along with the toll free phone. If someone finds your bag, he calls the toll free number then enters the pin-code. All five tags have the same pin-code...the same one you have already registered. Within seconds you can be re-united with your luggage (or keys).

If you want more than five tags, you may order more with the same pin-code from the web-site.

The Smartitag locator card costs $8.98.

TheShopping Detective: The Ice Man Cometh

When I am not out on the road and blogging about my travels, I will try to write chapters I call THE SHOPPING DETECTIVE, LOOK WHAT I FOUND!

In most cases these will be about new merchandise and trends that I discover; sometimes there were be shopping tips...which is where we start today. Next up I will be reporting on The Boracho Chicken Machine (yes, I am serious about this!)

In the last few days, as I have returned to my home in San Antonio, I have devoted a lot of time to acquire a refrigerator since my last one was put to pasture when I rented out the house to a tenant who couldn't be parted with his own fridge.

Candidate number one came from Craigslist and was delivered to my kitchen for $250 with the guarantee that it has been working and if it doesn't work now, a refund would be mine. That was a bust so I am still waiting for the pickup and refund. But the owner was pleasant and willing and I expect a happy result here.

Then I went to Home Depot to begin serious research. Essentially, a new 22 cubic foot fridge (in biscuit) could be mine for $1100 and up; delivery would be made according to my zip code and the rotation of the delivery trucks. If I bought two GE appliances, I could get a $500 gift card to Home Depot. I was certain I did not need two more refrigerators. I wondered if I gave them the $250 used model if I could get a $250 gift card instead.

I went online, I clipped from the newspaper and searched out a brand new Sear's Outlet that my step-mother told me about. On the phone they told me they had 300 fridges and many were in biscuit. They were located in a strip mall I knew very well because there's a TJMaxx next door and a Wal-Mart behind. The space until recently was a Circuit City store.

We did the whole smart-shopping business routine: compare, search, touch, inspect, look for egg holders set into the door; butter dishes, etc. All of the merchandise in the store was 30-40% less than a new and similar product. However, they were all returns. Sears claims they have a liberal return policy-- no questions asked and the machine has been tested before it goes out on the floor.

This is a case of putting your values on the line and wondering just how good the light is in a showroom (not very is the answer)...or if a biscuit can be a lemon.

The side by side I chose (a Kenmore, Sear's private label brand) was delivered about two hours later by a private contractor. When he put it in place, he taught me a number of valuable lessons.

The new frigo (this is the French word for refrigerator and one I use because it's easy) was much more dented, damaged and scratched than the one I had inspected and I feared a bait and switch. The Gentle Giant (delivery man) told me he hears this all the time; he said that the routine in a store while appearing to be very efficient is meant to leave the perception that you have inspected when in fact, you've seen very little.

He said you should never buy anything from a warehouse situation without putting your own secret, private mark on it-- a mark that only you know about. He suggests that you always have a Sharpie or marker in your handbag and put a dot on the rear ...or do something so that you will know if you are taking possession of the exact same item you have purchased.

In the end, I decided that life was too short to fight City Hall. And a lovely, plastic egg holder had been thrown in to sweeten the deal. I arranged my collection of refrigerator magnets to artfully cover all the cosmetic damage and am glad to have saved $400 and had instant satisfaction.

But then we come to the question of the very basis of satisfaction. I was happy with the savings, happy with the quick delivery and willing to compromise in this imperfect world. Compromise is very much part of this equation.